Ticking the Boxes
September 11th 2007 04:00
Most of us were taught to have goals and objectives ever since we could make our own decisions. Usually starting as goals and objectives relating to studies and career, these then transitioned to goals relating to personal life – i.e. marital status, lifestyle, assets, etc.
Having a good life and a great lifestyle are likely on the list, when you ask most people what they want. Throw in holidays and a good salary, and it’ll be the perfect list.
So, does the same work for your personal life – do most people have a list of what they look for in a long-term partner?
Pia is a strong believer of ‘the list’ – she has had lists since high-school! One who was keen to walk down the aisle in a white
Ticking the boxes can sometimes work to our disadvantage, as recalled by Gion. He once had a date with a girl who appeared to be working for the IRS. It was a long evening of being
While not all females (and males) tick the boxes to find the perfect mate, most do. I don’t think it’s wrong, nor is it necessarily a bad approach – perhaps we just need to be more aware of which of the boxes are necessary to tick...or is it necessary at all?
Does making a list and (mentally) ticking the boxes work? Can we get too carried away trying to tick all the boxes?
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Comment by katyzzz
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katyzzz
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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MNG
Comment by Michaelie
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I blame my unrealistic expectations on escapist romance novels.
Michaelie
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
But you can't live by lists alone!
Comment by Aimzster
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Comment by Ash
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I don`t think lists are a good thing - Mr Right could pass you by just because he has the wrong hair colour or has the wrong job. To me those are just parts of what we are... not who we are.
That`s my opinion anyway.
Ash
Comment by Chic Critique
...it's sometimes wise for some people to have a clear idea of what they want....and writing a list can help provide that tangibility....
....as long as they're flexible and allow chemistry and life to abolish it and not let it get in the way when they meet the love of their life.
Nobody is perfect and lists do have a tendency to be, erm, unrealistic? That's why they say "for better or worse".....we've got to take the good with the bad.
Cheers
CC
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
One problem I've had is a list I've made that compares a current partner with the ex... I'd think "Oh, but my previous partner never did this," and "my previous partner never did that."
Comment by Cibbuano
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Sure, rationally, I may think 'my perfect girl needs to have these qualities'... but it's much more exciting when you meet someone that DOESN'T fit your criteria, and you still find them unbearably attractive.
Comment by Anonymous
xoxo Niena
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
bentband. My network keeps dropping out intermittently making it really difficult to keep-up with reading/commenting/replying and posting --- aaaaargh...driving me nuts! I'll come around yours soon...Good to see you, MNG. Thanks for popping in.
<LOL>...thanks for the chuckle, Michaelie.
I agree, Kylie. It can be a good guide for some. It's only when it starts becoming the *mantra* then it's trouble
The initials BP, huh, Aimzster...does he happen to be with someone initialed AJ...?
Your friend could be missing the one by doing that, no...?
I agree it doesn't have to be followed to the extreme...
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Agree, CC...and some good insights you've imparted us with. It can be good for some particularly if they keep getting into bad relationships, but being realistic is key.
Oooo...the comparison of the current with the ex, huh, Dean. That'll be a danger zone with the current, and a tad unfair. Like a few people have said, each person is different...and there must've been something that attracted you to her/the current. ...but I can understand how it can sometimes be difficult to absolutely let go of the past...
Very true, Cibbuano. ...and that's the intriguing part of being in a relationship, as well as meeting someone.
That's a tall list, Niena
Comment by Trina
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I've always had lists and I end up getting the guy I want (although after a long wait and no casuals in between). Sure I've only ever had 2 boyfriends and no other dates/flings so one might say I'm inexperienced, but I believe it's because I found the right guy (at that time).
I think with lists, it's about keeping it realistic and more focused on the personality side of things more than the physical (shallow) attributes. I like Niena's list. Except for number 3, no need for proper English for me - love speaks body language
Comment by D. Armenta
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Niena's going to find a 4'9", denture-wearing, spanish-speaking unemployed musician...
Comment by Lara M
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