Soul mate love...does it exist?
June 26th 2007 07:24
My last post 'Love speaks to us in different ways'
drew several insightful comments, which have inspired me to write this follow-up post -- thank you katyzzz, Gurl, Wendi, Jessicca (and Cibbuano too!).
Soul mate love...unconditional love...Agape Love, I think in essence speaks of the love we were all born with, a kind of love that is freely given without judgement. To me it's the kind of love that binds two souls together -- be it a close friend, a family member or a partner.
I also believe that soul mates come to us in different forms. Two of my soul mates happen to be close friends of mine -- Ken and Ellie. I've known Ken for more than 10 years. We've always connected on a very high level that I feel is almost spiritual. We share similar perspectives on life, enjoy similar activities BUT it could never be romantic. Why? Probably because we're too compatible and have too much of the same chemistry, perhaps we were 'made' at the same time and share this connectedness, but it's one where there could never be a romantic love (though we never tried...). Though Ken and I don't speak very often these days, and we live a continent a part...we still have that connectivity.
Then there's Ellie... Ellie and I have not known each other for very long, but our bond is as strong as one that could've been made a decade ago, and probably one where I feel is perhaps stronger than what I have with even my family members. We share many ideas, thoughts and concerns with each other... and even though we're more than a 24-hour ride (flight time and transits) from each other, we always pick up from where we left off. It's a kind of bond that I find challenging to define, so I think that soul mate kind of love fits.
I also think it can come us in the form of an animal, a pet. Growing up, we had lots of animals around us, and at one time we had three dogs. I loved all of them but one always had a special place in my heart...and I think vice versa too -- perhaps we met in a previous life. He passed away almost 20 years ago but till today, I still dream of him...
Whether one's believe in soul mate love is karmic, mythical or religious... I think it's a beautiful way to look at love -- la love that is not tainted by bitterness or negativity, and while it sometimes may not be in the purest form, it is almost as pure as it can be...loving the other for who they are (battle-scars, *baggage*, drool marks inclusive!)...
What's a soul mate to you?
p/s...I would've loved to use my own pix of my dogs, unfortunately it's all in storage...
Images courtesy of ladyheart (colourful candy hearts), anairam (shadow), keegan (dog) and dantada (lightning) at morgueFile.
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Comment by katyzzz
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I believe in soul mates and I guess the true marriages are made in Heaven.
However, except with animals, I don't believe in unconditional love, that's just me.
But I do believe in true love, I just guess I never found it, or else life took its toll.
I do have a karmic male friend, anything else would be impossible, for me anyway.
I sometimes think we miss our best opportunities for love, with our friends. That's something to think about.
There's another song, true love never runs smooth, so I guess this sums up my views and no doubt others have different things to say.
But I don't discount the notions.
katyzzz
Comment by Lara M
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Yea...love is a strange *beast*...but I still believe in it
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Aimzster
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Comment by Lara M
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Oh...u never know, someone may think that you're their soul-mates...but i guess u'd know by now...
Comment by Lara M
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I know what u mean about "...take your romance and your romantic relationships one at a time and not pin your hopes and expectations too much on them...", but also believe that one needs to put in some effort to make it last
I think that's perhaps why soul mates can be mates that are not only in the romantic sense...
p/s...are those your doggies? They look fun and playful...!
Comment by Lara M
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"...missing opportunities with friends..." i think are perhaps caused by a society that's too busy, and too caught up with their own lives...but i do think it's never too late.
Comment by Aimzster
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PS. That dog pic is cute. Let me know when you post one up of your actual dog.
Comment by Lara M
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Sabre looks cheeky..!
Ok, will do...when I dig out the pix -- the problem with city living, there's never enough space around...!
Comment by Mrs M
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Soul mate love absolutely most definitely does exist. And as you pointed out, maybe there is more than one soul mate.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by charles
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I have a handful of really close friends, but I wouldn't really call any one of them a soul-mate. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because we all live in different parts of the world and we only get to hang out for a few weeks once a year.
Perhaps it's because I can't call on them in the hour of need that kind of robs the extra bit of connectivity to consider them as soul-mates.
I admire how you and your soul-mates manage to sustain such a strong relationship despite being that fair apart though.
Charles.
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Apparently there are 11 definitions of what a soul mate is...and I guess depending on what one's personal experience with it has been.
Thanks for popping in!
Comment by Lara M
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Of course, sometimes it just a case of 'just clicking' and being very much on the same wavelength.
Yes, it's been great that we've still been able to keep the connections going despite the distance -- all thanks to instant messaging, etc...but I do really miss just making that one phone call to say 'let's meet for a drink!'...
Thanks for your thoughts!
Comment by Kia
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Cool...a different perspective on the topic. Why do you think that?
Comment by Wendi
I'd rather believe and die searching than to miss out on a great love because I was too busy believing it couldn't exist when it crossed my path.
However, I do feel a lot of people misunderstand the term all together and are searching for "perfection" in a mate, which is not the same as a soul mate in my opinion. No one is perfect, no one comes without flaws, so if you're searching for the perfect mate, chances are you'll never find it.
I dunno, I'm so far from being the love expert it's ridiculous, but I thought I'd throw my opinions into the mix.
W
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
That's what I was trying to convey, and perhaps didn't do a good job of it. Soul-mate is more than about expectations met or a romantic notion. I think it's about having the right chemistry and being in tune with each other -- hence, soul-mates is more than just romantic as it can be a connection with truly close friends. Just my 2-cents on it...
Happy to hear that you've opened up your heart again...
I think when the *right* energy is there, we attract the same *right* kind of energy back.
As always, your thoughts are always so well put together - thanks for sharing
Comment by Wendi
I couldn't agree more.
In one sense, I believe everyone we choose to love, whether long term or short, romantic or otherwise, is a soul mate in some sense. Even the relationships that don't work out long term change who we are, and change the person (people) we're with. We blend and merge and mix our traits with everyone with whom we share ourselves, and with everyone we open ourselves to. We take on certain phrases, facial expressions, even develop new laughs, and change our perspectives based on the energies of those with whom we connect on the deepest levels. Isn't that the true essence of "soul-mate"? We engage for however long, and we become more than the sum of our parts.
I don't believe any relationship I was in was a "mistake". I don't have regrets. I'm not 100% happy with every one of the consequences, but I don't think they were mistakes... and that goes for every kind of relationship, not just the romantic ones.
That concept is one that fueled my "no one soul-mate" line of thinking for so many years... because to a degree, we're ALL soul mates in my opinion. I live my life by the "We are all one" theory.
Ironically, the first piece of writing I had published in an Anthology was on this same concept... about not limiting Self to "one" soul-mate, and appreciating the true value of every personal encounter. Sadly, the piece was re-written to death, not even recognizable as my own work by the time it was published, and did promote that "one perfect true love" mindset.
And yet, as I age and open my mind and heart to new things, I do realize that there are those once in a lifetime opportunities with another soul who is so very much like our own that it's impossible not to hold them in that "soul-mate" light.
Like I said, I'm no where near being an expert on love and relationships... not even close, but I thought I'd share my opinions. It's a great topic!
W
Comment by Wendi
LOVE this:
Couldn't agree more!
W
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
So true! Whether it was romantic or not, or could have been or not...I'm certainly glad I was open to the few whom I crossed paths with...
It certainly is a great topic! I'd be interested to read your original article on it. It's a pity the publisher chose to re-angle the article - perhaps they thought that was what the masses wanted to hear/read?!