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…not your typical love site, but taking a more rounded perspective on the topic -- based on personal experiences as well as that of friends, and life...

*Bad* boys...*Bad* girls...

March 10th 2008 09:59
bad boy devil toy statue

Why do we like to go out with *bad* boys/girls? Is it because we have an inner desire to be adventurous?

I recently watched (quite an old movie) “Laurel Canyon”. Two perfect professional individuals, Sam and Alex. A few months into what seems like a perfect life, Sam's fiancee Alex – who was brought up in a strict upbringing and was always afraid of failing and didn't know how to fail – is lured by Sam's pot-smoking hippy mum and her young boyfriend pot-smoking musician lifestyle... After being caught by her fiancé in what would have been a threesome with her future mother in-law and her (mother-in-law’s) boyfriend... She realises that adventure life isn’t what she really wants.


So, why is it that we get lured by *naughty* things? …or even by *naughty* boys/girls?

According to my friend Pia, it’s an act of rebellion. According to others (including my personal experiences), it appears to be phases where you are *lost*… Perhaps we think that looking for whatever or whoever will somehow fulfil a deeper inner need, whatever that might be…

candy heart love-hearts


Do you have an inner desire? What’s your inner desire?





Images courtesy of Clarita (1st pix) and EmmiP (2nd pix)


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Comments
9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by tlcorbin

March 10th 2008 11:10
Forbidden fruit is always visually more appealing, the reality usually provides us with another shot at sanity, and we move on Lara, hopefully wiser for the experiences. Raven

Comment by Michaelie

March 10th 2008 11:29
Easy, bad boys are the ones you have the flings with before you settle down with a nice, sensible boy. Lol.

I've always had a thing for bad boys. It's that unattainable, mysterious, dangerous quality that is just such a CHALLENGE! Bad boys are never boring. There's such a thrill in having the brief belief that you can tame them.

Michaelie

Comment by Ash

March 10th 2008 11:34
Hey Lara

Oh I`d like to know the answer to this one! I go for this type myself... and when a sweet and lovely person comes my way I think.... BLEH, BORING, YAWN!

And then end up wondering what I saw in him in the first place and kick myself for giving up the sweet one.

For me, personally, I think it mirrors a part of me that i wish I had... I mean I may be rebellious, but within certain boundaries. Talk about getting your strength from the masses I reckon we draw that side of us out that we desire by being with people who already have it.

Then when we discover who we really are so can we settle with the one that we mirror who we are, what we want, etc.

So I reckon it`s not so much what we are missing but finding that part of ourselves that we wish to explore within the safety of another, until we find OURSELVES and our soul mate where we can actually be ourself and comfortable with it,

Does that make sense?? nah me neither

Ash

Comment by Anonymous

March 11th 2008 01:32
I've always enjoyed the company of naughty girls, not that they were prosmicuous or anything like that. Just that they appear to be less inhibited; and usually game to give anything a go!

Can't tolerate those goodie 2-shoes!

Comment by Sara Dobson

March 11th 2008 22:20
All the guys I have been passionate about are either bad boys or emotionally unavailable. I think its because you think can change them or help them. I realised I can't so I am now with a nice guy

Comment by Lara M

March 12th 2008 01:30
Learning from our mistakes might just have to be the way to go with some of us, Raven



<LOL> I think you're quite right there, Michaelie. After the feathers have been ruffled, it's time to be looking groomed



You're on to something there, Ash!
I think it mirrors a part of me that i wish I had...
...or something/someone you want to experience. I think that was certainly true in my *past life* <giggle...> Sure, made sense to me



Hmm...interesting point, Anon. However, I don't think the so-called 'goodie two-shoes' are that straight-laced. Still water runs deep you know...



Oh, tell me about the 'emotionally unavailable', Sara! <roll of eyes> Took me a few to realise that I'm not really suppose to be their *mother* nor their psychiatrist!



I think at the end of the day, these *bad* experiences help us to then know how to weed out the bad ones, and (finally!) select the good. Thanks for all your comments, everyone

Comment by KylieW

March 13th 2008 23:48
I think it's a phase thing too. I used to go for bad boys. I think it's the unattainable thing that they've got going on. And the challenge to be the one to tame them.

But I'm in my 30's now and these days I like nice guys. I'm too old to put up with being treated like shit!

Comment by Lilla

March 21st 2008 04:29
Bad boys, bad boys, gimme gimme bad boys- beep beep.. ... oops sorry Lara, skipped a groove there.

I /seriously/ can't tell the difference ... maybe I just bring out the bad in good men and the angel in the bad ones *laughs* by your mid-forties, it doesn;t really matter that much because, the good/bad line has blurred for the men themselves... and they can't even decide which they are anymore half the time ... it becomes more a merging of minds ... oh okay with a bit of amazing (occassional) mad passion thrown in ...

Lilla ...


Comment by Lara M

April 2nd 2008 03:00
Oh boy...the phases that we go through, Kylie! Some mad experiences there, but those were the challenges/excitement we *craved* <LOL>




...maybe I just bring out the bad in good men and the angel in the bad ones
...I like that Lilla <LOL> I think you're on to something there...!

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