Lara M
Living with the in-laws
October 18th 2006 09:40
It's quite a common practice in the Asian culture for the parents to move into the home of their eldest child (or only child). Well, maybe not so common anymore as most of them prefer to have a place of their own (most probably a place which they bought while their children were growing up). But really....is this living arrangement a good idea?
Yes, while it shows some form of elderly respect to look after our parents after what they've done for us....but there are other ways to do this ritual, I'm sure. For example, maybe get them to live next door (Think, 'Everybody loves Raymond') or the next suburb or something like that. See, while they're not living under the same roof, but still easily reachable in case anything should happen or if they fall ill and needs to be taken care of. And yes, it still solves our daycare problems as well, because I'm sure grandma and grandpa would only be too happy to take care of the little tart whilst mom and dad are away at work.
The point is, with parents or in-laws or whatever relatives living under the same roof.....won't this arrangement interfere with the personal life of the said married couple. I mean, imagine if one fine day you're trying to discipline and teach your own child and out of the blue comes grandma or grandpa, who interferes in the whole process and insists that it should be done her/his way instead of yours. While we appreciate what they're trying to do (i.e. help ease the duties of being a parent), but times have changed and how they've brought us up before might not nescesarily apply to the present time. And besides, sometimes I think the only person that knows what's best for the child is his/her own parents (provided that they spend enough time with the child!).
Also, as people grow older they tend to be difficult to live with, what with all the demands and such (ok, some people not all). So, what happens if you happen to have such family members? Not only will you have a headache thinking of ways to please others, won't that bring unnescesary stress to the household? I, for one can't imagine living under the same roof with a replica of J.Lo's 'Monster In-Law'. OH.My.God! I'd be up praying every night that the said monster would, in time turn into an angel or pray for a miracle!
So, enough about what I think about this. What's your view? Is this a great idea...and if the worst happens, how should we handle it without causing stress to everyone in the house?
Yes, while it shows some form of elderly respect to look after our parents after what they've done for us....but there are other ways to do this ritual, I'm sure. For example, maybe get them to live next door (Think, 'Everybody loves Raymond') or the next suburb or something like that. See, while they're not living under the same roof, but still easily reachable in case anything should happen or if they fall ill and needs to be taken care of. And yes, it still solves our daycare problems as well, because I'm sure grandma and grandpa would only be too happy to take care of the little tart whilst mom and dad are away at work.
The point is, with parents or in-laws or whatever relatives living under the same roof.....won't this arrangement interfere with the personal life of the said married couple. I mean, imagine if one fine day you're trying to discipline and teach your own child and out of the blue comes grandma or grandpa, who interferes in the whole process and insists that it should be done her/his way instead of yours. While we appreciate what they're trying to do (i.e. help ease the duties of being a parent), but times have changed and how they've brought us up before might not nescesarily apply to the present time. And besides, sometimes I think the only person that knows what's best for the child is his/her own parents (provided that they spend enough time with the child!).
Also, as people grow older they tend to be difficult to live with, what with all the demands and such (ok, some people not all). So, what happens if you happen to have such family members? Not only will you have a headache thinking of ways to please others, won't that bring unnescesary stress to the household? I, for one can't imagine living under the same roof with a replica of J.Lo's 'Monster In-Law'. OH.My.God! I'd be up praying every night that the said monster would, in time turn into an angel or pray for a miracle!
So, enough about what I think about this. What's your view? Is this a great idea...and if the worst happens, how should we handle it without causing stress to everyone in the house?
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Comment by somu
My personal take is that it differs from person to person. I have seen many who are living together as one big family. And I am also seeing that most of the people would prefer to have a nuclear family as well.
In some cases, it works very good. But statistically speaking, most of the time living together brings in lot of unpleasant feeling which destruct the idea of living together.
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Comment by Aimzster
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