Play by the Rules?
July 2nd 2007 05:53
There are heaps of websites offering advice on dating and relationships. I’m not sure who writes them, but some of the advices seem more like rules for a disaster or for several steps back in time!
Some of these included:
> The man should pay because if he’s truly interested he’ll spend on you
> Keep the first couple of dates brief – you want him/her to come back for more
> Don’t call too soon after the first date – you don’t want to appear too interested
> Don’t jump into bed too soon!
My take on them…
Since we’re in the 21st century and supporting gender equality, we shouldn’t have a big problem over who pays, right? I’ve no qualms paying my share or even paying for him. I’ve been on dates
where he would pay for dinner, and I get drinks later or vice versa… and even situations where we both offer to pay our own share, but yes most of the time, my date does pay and that’s usually because he wants to – well, at least it didn’t seem like it was an obligation…!
A week’s notice?! Unless you are a surgeon or a politician, I don’t think this is too convincing. Worst, it could lead to him/her thinking that you’re too busy dating other people!
If you kept the date too brief, it could lead him/her to wonder if you’re rushing off to another date. Also, you may just be in the middle of some deep-and-meaningful conversation… and running off would seem like you’re not interested!
Not calling too soon could backfire as well, as it might appear that you’re not interested or too busy with someone else.
Hmmm…now the last one, depends on you and what you want out of it. So, I’ll leave that one to your discretion
Ladies and Gentlemen: Have you heard of any other *rules* -- what do you think of them?
What are your *rules*… if any?
p/s… I think it’s more important to be myself, be safe and have fun – that’s my *rule*… and going with the flow...
'Police' image courtesy of Clarita, morgueFile.
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Comment by Aimzster
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And no, don't go to bed. If he's interested and has something to offer that is worthwhile he'll wait and so will you.
The song: [ as that's the rage on Orble at the moment ] And they called it puppy lo- ove.
I do know how you feel.
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Comment by KylieW
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A friend of mine read that book The Rules. It had things like :
Don't tell him too much about yourself. You want to seem mysterious.
Hmmm,.......I thought the point of dating was to get to know one another.....apparently not.
And as for don't jump into bed too soon.....I can give you a number of examples of friends who have ended up happily married to people that they jumped straight into bed with. Again, do what feels right.
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I think the same people who wrote those books are moderating those websites. A lot of what they dish out are like tactics for mind games.
Yep, go with the flow and trust the intuition
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
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I reckon some of these are slightly outdated ... just slightly! The whole phone call thing irks me - why do it? It frustrates me more than anything else!
One rule that I reckon should never lose its place is the whole letting a girl walk through the door first. I don`t expect the car door to be opened for me but I think it shows respect to let a girl walk through the door first...
ash
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Funny that you mentioned about the 'door manners'... I was talking with my girlfriend, and that's her main gripe too! ...but she goes a step further by adding that she likes having doors opened for her, said it stems back to the days of Mills & Boons, Harlequins, whatever those romance novels were called!