What you have VS what you (think) you want
July 25th 2007 02:30
The following was bandied around in the web-sphere a couple of years ago. Like with all e-mail forwards, no sources have been cited – to the author of it, thank you for broaching a prickly topic, and giving us a message…
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this person in my office is a really good-looking/beautiful. She/he's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring; more thoughtful; have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
That’s because no wife or husband is perfect, because a spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh. Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame that has the makings of a talk-show host.
But wait! That's only probably 10% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to your spouse's 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together – unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple, the many adjustments you have made to love the other, and the memories that you've accumulated together all matter.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. Faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever and whatever it is, it will always be great!
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring; more thoughtful; have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
That’s because no wife or husband is perfect, because a spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%.
Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh. Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame that has the makings of a talk-show host.
But wait! That's only probably 10% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to your spouse's 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together – unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple, the many adjustments you have made to love the other, and the memories that you've accumulated together all matter.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. Faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever and whatever it is, it will always be great!
What are your thoughts?
Images: Jules Arsene Garnier - Le supplice des adulteres; and D.Jeltvoski - bed (Wikipedia)
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Comment by Louie
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
nice post, thanks
Comment by Lara M
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Comment by Louie
randomthoughts
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Comment by Aimzster
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Comment by Lara M
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Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
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Getting what you don't have is also just likely a superficial solution to a bigger problem in that relationship. Thanks for your thoughts.
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Hey, this is a great post, and I mean it! Adultery is something that has frequently lured myself and a lot of my friends. Well, not exactly adultery, but cheating.
Lust is so easy to acquire, and sometimes the tempting present can make all the horrible consequences of the future seem seem like nothing. Oh, how blind we become!
That's so true about your post.... we're never really happy with what we have, and it's not until after we lose something that we realise that what we had was perfect.
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
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Yea, lust is probably that first pull into the den...! Blinding us in that moment of *passion*.
I've been cheated on, and it's never something you forget... ...and yes, like you said, he never realised how good it was till it was over...
Comment by Catherine
Natural Animals
For me adultery definitely starts in the mind.
Comment by Lara M
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